Random Songbird @FromtheAbyss@mspsocial.net

Me: complains about not being well-groomed
Also me: does not groom

Is messy and I'm sick of it.

I complain every month cuz it sucks every month.

Those folks who tried to tell me that it was some kind of amazing gift of womanhood, a sign of sisterhood? Fuck you. That's better than being told you're unclean and evil for bleeding, but it's just as untrue.

imagine if windows was like android, and microsoft released a new windows version but you had to wait several months for dell/hp/acer/whatever to update their weird windows build with shitty custom theming and candy crush permanently installed, but even when dell finally updated their windows build from a 6 month old version to a 3 month old version, you don't get it straight away because your laptop is a t-mobile dell so you have to wait even longer, and after two years one of microsoft or dell or t-mobile say "fuck it" and just stop supplying upgrades and you're stuck on Windows 10 October 2015 Edition for all eternity

As soon as I bite into the apple, juice explodes out and all over my face, and I quietly whisper "yes homo."

when you’re a donut that just wants to be filled

living in blissful ignorance of whatever the fuck the netflix tiger show is

cultural portrayal of medieval peoples: "Ah, 'tis a hard life stoically tending the fields for eleven hours every single day of my life til my death at the ripe old age of thirty, but at least i have the guidance of my austere and vindictive god to comfort me."

reality: "Hey we're not working today because today is another incredibly specific holy day, lets go to the festival, get wasted, and have a good fuckin time. YO BARD, TELL THE ONE ABOUT LOKI TYING A GOAT'S BEARD TO HIS BALLS"

Nice peaceful Sunday evening arguing with people online who think it's a good idea to call the cops on their neighbours :(

I never get DMs from people I don't know on any platform. I'm hoping this is because I seem intimidating rather than boring.

there are several things i like about iOS, windows, steam, mastodon, macOS, the UI of the switch & xbox & ps4, the new gog galaxy client, twitter, unity, itch, and android.

there are also several things i dislike about those platforms.

i contain multitudes and i'm just getting that out of the way.

how do you know someone online is from the united states?

easy, they never mention their location even when it is absolutely relevant to know.

where do you get off being so prickly? your berries aren’t even that sweet... be careful or we might go elsewhere

praise to the junk chair, the chair that bears our burdens so the other sitting places may remain open and sittable

cars are only able to say one word ("watch out! i'm going to run you over!") and they must use it to express everything from "i've just dropped you off!" to "don't do that!" to "i'm annoyed!" to "there's my friend!" to "let's mate!"