So on this quarantine I think I want to attempt to teach myself a Birmingham accent. A real one, not that one that Peaky Blinders attempts.

The fun part is finding enough videos of people actually from Birmingham to watch.

The Beatles, sitting around a table

John: Guys come on, we gotta write a new song. Ideas?
Paul: I just met this amazing girl...
Ringo: Aw dude, my girl just left me and I'm fuckin SAD about it.
George: Dude I'm on so many drugs right now, your tie is fucking talking to me, man.
John: Sounds groovy, we'll put it all in!

i'd probably never attend an orgy, but it would be nice to get an invite

food adjacent 

“The Onion but for specific professions/subcultures” is the best form of humor tbh

Got an email from choir saying the season is over, and yet they want us to use Zoom to do completely pointless virtual rehearsals. What for? No concert. It’s going to be a mess, and a mess for no reason. Why can’t we just hang up our holsters till next year?

I have a new earworm and it’s this. Warning: lewd implied, lots of innuendo here.

youtu.be/QSorC2mHzHc

Someday I'll trip on something that is on my floor that does not belong there, and break a bone. It's just a matter of time.

Reading about isolation tips to keep your spirits up like "Set a routine! Get dressed every day! Keep to your bedtime!" and nodding in agreement whilst sat in my bed surrounded by my clutter and rubbish pile like a particularly disgusting dragon.

It’s amazing how bizarre someone’s words can sound until you realize they’re talking about a game. I just killed a horde of zombies, or, I’ve been foraging through the wilderness and found an abandoned shack to move into.

"Watching the media has convinced me that my neighbors are all sociopaths and suckers."

... Have you tried talking to your neighbors though?

I forgot the tedious process that is building up an account. When I first started I scrolled endlessly through federated until I slowly, so slowly found enough to constitute a decent home. It took weeks. Looks like we’re back to that LOL.

Is anyone else creeped out by those security cameras where you can see what’s going on in your home via an app? I mean, what if you don’t want your spouse knowing every move you make, or you’re a kid who doesn’t want mom to know you played hooky? You can’t have any secrets.

coronavirus 

injury with blood 

I usually pass this around on today’s date, so here it is. It’s very cute. Note that the sound doesn’t start until about 45 seconds in.

youtu.be/iUpLuJAK1GU

Well, last night we had a summons from our good friend the fire alarm. There’ve been too many false ones that I didn’t bother going down. Got ready just in case but decided to stay put unless there was smoke or anything. That’ll really shake you up and get the adrenaline going.

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