boring gender noodling
I still don't have pronouns, but I /do/ have a preference for people remembering that I'm not a girl and I'm not...cis?
And I'm honestly starting to wonder if telling people to use "they" for me is a good way of going about that.
I'm still stuck on "I don't want people to worry about getting my pronouns wrong! Because that's impossible!" But is it worth it to maybe get something else I do actually want?
So I mentioned this pronoun stuff on my blog and one of my irl friends commented to check that all the pronouns really are okay for me and then said "Because I can try to use 'whichever pronoun no-one else in the conversation is using' for you - that can be a really useful disambiguation."
Having friends offering to help me out with my real pronoun preference, which is for inconsistency, makes me so happy and I feel so lucky for the people I know.
This friend messaged me to say "happy agender pride day!" and I had no idea there was such a thing but the internet agrees so happy agender pride! And thank you fedi for being the first place I could tell that I was agender.
I wrote an agender FAQ for pride day! Illustrated with an old selfie of me in my Agender In Space t-shirt. :)
@error_1202 Your writing is clear and uses really accessible language; I loved the bit where you talked about not having a sister as an analogy to not having a gender because you're not asserting that sisters don't exist, or that other people don't have them, you simply haven't got one and that's just an inherent fact about you, not a choice or a deficit.
@stelepami That's so good to hear! I was worried about that because I thought it might sound a bit flippant.
But I wanted to address that "gender doesn't really exist" argument because TERFs keep trying to make it as a way to dismiss trans people and they are so very incorrect about that in every way. So it was important to me and I wanted to do it well.
@error_1202 It reminds me a little of the video explaining sexual consent via the analogy of offering someone tea. Slightly silly and it makes abstract concepts easy to understand.
@error_1202 hey this is cool! I didn't know we had a day
@aylen ikr? But yay us!
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