Snowy Cozy Cat @fysicscat@mspsocial.net

Y'all my housemate has been away this week so I've gotten /all/ the ratto time. And it's World Rat Day! So have some cute pictures ^.^ 🐀

I'm a little late to the selfie game, but good morning!!

*scrolls through masto*
*notices all the mspsocial selfies*
*cue mic feedback* attention. Y'all a bunch of cuties

ATTENTION DEPRESSION: THE BASEMENT IS IN THE END STAGES OF BEING FINISHED BUT NOT YET DONE AND NOW THERE'S MOLD IN THE OFFICE AND HUBBY NEEDS HELP SO HE DEALS WITH HIS BURNOUT AND WIFEY NEEDS ME TOO, LONG STORY SHORT OTHER THINGS NEED ME TO NOT BE A MESS SO COULD YOU KINDLY UMM FUCK OFF??????

Cool, thanks.

Man I just decided to re-read my birbsite bio, in which I wrote that one of the things I love is "chasing the horizons of my understanding" and goddamn was 2016 Catherine so much more a wordsmith than current Catherine. Good job, past me, you go.

Oh /here's/ the recurrence of depression symptoms, I was wondering when they'd join the fun!! :gayknife: :gayknife: :gayknife:

Also I now feel like I have the flu.

Is it tomorrow yet?

And none of this is to say that folks who identify strongly with a gender are wrong!! And I def don't want to be flippant about trans or non-binary folks' struggles.

I feel like I don't have the right to use a label other than cis, because I'm fine if people assume I'm a woman by looking at me? It's when people try to make me label myself, or ask what I identify as that makes my brain flatline. "Why is this relevant? Can't I just be a person?"

(3/?)

Any way
.
.
.
We'll see how this develops. Stay tuned for the next episode of "is Catherine legitimately on to something or just whiny?"

Fin.

And a lot of what I consider my core personality traits are traditionally considered "feminine": I'm a nurturer, I prefer to mediate conflicts if I can. But I don't think of those traits as being caused because of me being femme, it's just who I am as a person.

But I'm also very independent, strong- willed, and assertive. I've not worked closely with another femme literally since I joined the work force and I don't care? Most of the time I barely notice?

(2/?)

So I think I'm starting to come to terms wth the fact that I might be agender? But it's hard for me to tell if that's the case, or if most cis people feel the way I do?? Which is that gender is....weird/ who even gives a fuck. Like I'm def femme of center in terms of presentation and socialization, and my sex is def female, but labeling myself as a "woman" feels....off. Cuz like I dunno how do you even define what a "woman" or a "man" is lol.

(1/?)

Long story short, I'm counting the hours until Wednesday, when I can go back to drinking my favorite hot things and begin tapering back on Cymbalta so my brain is less upset.

Fin.

The antidepressant I take is Cymbalta, and discovering it in late 2017 was a life-changer. I haven't noticed mh-- as a result of tapering off, but I have been dealing with some pretty legit vertigo for the past four days. Let me tell you friends, vertigo for multiple consecutive days is, uhh, Not My Favorite(TM)

(2/?)