Snowy Cozy Cat @fysicscat@mspsocial.net

Man I just decided to re-read my birbsite bio, in which I wrote that one of the things I love is "chasing the horizons of my understanding" and goddamn was 2016 Catherine so much more a wordsmith than current Catherine. Good job, past me, you go.

Oh /here's/ the recurrence of depression symptoms, I was wondering when they'd join the fun!! :gayknife: :gayknife: :gayknife:

Also I now feel like I have the flu.

Is it tomorrow yet?

And none of this is to say that folks who identify strongly with a gender are wrong!! And I def don't want to be flippant about trans or non-binary folks' struggles.

I feel like I don't have the right to use a label other than cis, because I'm fine if people assume I'm a woman by looking at me? It's when people try to make me label myself, or ask what I identify as that makes my brain flatline. "Why is this relevant? Can't I just be a person?"

(3/?)

Any way
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We'll see how this develops. Stay tuned for the next episode of "is Catherine legitimately on to something or just whiny?"

Fin.

And a lot of what I consider my core personality traits are traditionally considered "feminine": I'm a nurturer, I prefer to mediate conflicts if I can. But I don't think of those traits as being caused because of me being femme, it's just who I am as a person.

But I'm also very independent, strong- willed, and assertive. I've not worked closely with another femme literally since I joined the work force and I don't care? Most of the time I barely notice?

(2/?)

So I think I'm starting to come to terms wth the fact that I might be agender? But it's hard for me to tell if that's the case, or if most cis people feel the way I do?? Which is that gender is....weird/ who even gives a fuck. Like I'm def femme of center in terms of presentation and socialization, and my sex is def female, but labeling myself as a "woman" feels....off. Cuz like I dunno how do you even define what a "woman" or a "man" is lol.

(1/?)

Long story short, I'm counting the hours until Wednesday, when I can go back to drinking my favorite hot things and begin tapering back on Cymbalta so my brain is less upset.

Fin.

The antidepressant I take is Cymbalta, and discovering it in late 2017 was a life-changer. I haven't noticed mh-- as a result of tapering off, but I have been dealing with some pretty legit vertigo for the past four days. Let me tell you friends, vertigo for multiple consecutive days is, uhh, Not My Favorite(TM)

(2/?)

So I've had this problem for a few years where I sleep waaaay too much. Like, I need 10-12 straight hours to go through a full day without a nap. So I finally got the spoons to see a sleep doc. Hooray for me, and the doc agrees we should look into this. Double hooray! So that means a sleep study, and what that has meant is

1) coming off caffeine, which is a bitch because I love tea and coffee

2) coming off my antidepressant

(1/?)

Eeeeep friends I have a phone interview in like 10 min for that job I really want and I am such a nervous nub

*has excited/slightly nervous tummy flutters over having applied to a job I want* eeeep

Cold from hell, day 5:

I've managed to make it out of bed and into an upright position for the first time in three days!

Still hella congested, but according to @britvulcan I've gone from sounding like a Muppet to sounding like a creaky tree (progress?) I've also taken our husband down with me (poor man, he deserved so much better).

Hoping to be well enough for Solsitice/holiday celebrations beginning this weekend!