Matthew @yeahno@mspsocial.net

i remain mushy-brained from these painkillers that is all

I decided in the face of the apocalyptic sky that reinstalling the Lyft app on my phone—while far from ideal—is probably really, really, really wise.

Also, the opioids made me spell wise "wize" at first and I had to stare at it for, like, a minute and a half to figure out what was wrong.

I had an accident on Saturday whilst cooking and about 20% of my right hand has second-degree burns and I have to go to doctor appointments in the suburbs today on the bus and there are thunderstorms coming and I'm getting pre-cranky about all of it.

ugh help me with this stupid JavaScript nonsense, someone

Someone on Etsy reworked old Soviet propaganda posters to be about cats. It's pretty great.

https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/588319724/soviet-cat-defeat-the-fascist-snake

I had such plans for this evening and here we are, frozen Trader Joe's spanakopita, just you and me.

The sun's out again and I'm kinda hammered. AN AUGUSTMONDAY IN THE MIDWEST AMIRITE

So much for getting things done tonight. This is gonna be a two-cocktail severe thunderstorm warning at a minimum, judging from radar.

I got as far as the bar and decided the coming storm is stronger than my will to get home.

Warmed sweetened condensed milk is a lot like what I imagine angel snot would be.

I'm making a tres leches cake—BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST—and the recipe I was using said to microwave the sweetened condensed milk in the microwave and so I did and then it boiled over and now I have a slightly caramelized microwave.

"What precipitates this final, outrageous act of cheating isn’t any fresh treachery on Tracy’s part. Jim … is pushed over the edge by Tracy’s pure and spontaneous expression of joy. … The sight of her jumping up and down in the hall — having fought hard and won fairly, the way you’re supposed to — is too much for Jim to bear."

Now I just want to cry.

If you can, read this re-analysis of "Election" by AO Scott. It's devastating and spot-on as fuck: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/01/movies/tracy-flick-reese-witherspoon.html

This is how we sleep now, I guess.

It's Warren's world. I'm just living in it. Truly. #qualitätskatzen

I downloaded the electric scooter apps because someday I'm going to be desperate.

Let's declare independence and make this the portrait on one of our banknotes, okay? Okay!

I don't know if I've shared this hilarious photo of Warren yet. I want to commission it as a painting.

I got into a tiny flame war with someone from high school on the Facebook page of someone else from high school, and then all these other people from high school (and elementary school, even) started chiming in and now I'm getting together with a woman who I've known since 4th grade but haven't seen in 26 years and all I know is that she—AND I QUOTE—has some residual guilt from childhood she'd like to clear up.

I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.

Tornado watch issued until 10 p.m.

Just sayin'.

Also, why the heck have I been so into this today?