Matthew @yeahno@mspsocial.net

There was a man on campus who was yelling about God and stuff and now I'm wondering if I should go, like, scream out cookie recipes and how my life was changed by browned butter, that others might come to know for themselves the grace and light I have experienced.

If we do go, I'll really have to figure out how to keep the burn on my hand protected. That could get gross fast, I reckon.

Hi, everyone! This happened and I had to share: Ben and I are going to South Dakota to visit my family this weekend and in the process of planning, we were invited to a gay sex party in Sioux Falls and I guess that, while normally not my jam, I feel like it should be a thing that we do because it's such a delightful way to say "fuck you" to my upbringing in that state.

i remain mushy-brained from these painkillers that is all

I decided in the face of the apocalyptic sky that reinstalling the Lyft app on my phone—while far from ideal—is probably really, really, really wise.

Also, the opioids made me spell wise "wize" at first and I had to stare at it for, like, a minute and a half to figure out what was wrong.

I had an accident on Saturday whilst cooking and about 20% of my right hand has second-degree burns and I have to go to doctor appointments in the suburbs today on the bus and there are thunderstorms coming and I'm getting pre-cranky about all of it.

ugh help me with this stupid JavaScript nonsense, someone

Someone on Etsy reworked old Soviet propaganda posters to be about cats. It's pretty great.

https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/588319724/soviet-cat-defeat-the-fascist-snake

I had such plans for this evening and here we are, frozen Trader Joe's spanakopita, just you and me.

The sun's out again and I'm kinda hammered. AN AUGUSTMONDAY IN THE MIDWEST AMIRITE

So much for getting things done tonight. This is gonna be a two-cocktail severe thunderstorm warning at a minimum, judging from radar.

I got as far as the bar and decided the coming storm is stronger than my will to get home.

Warmed sweetened condensed milk is a lot like what I imagine angel snot would be.

I'm making a tres leches cake—BECAUSE IT'S THE BEST—and the recipe I was using said to microwave the sweetened condensed milk in the microwave and so I did and then it boiled over and now I have a slightly caramelized microwave.

"What precipitates this final, outrageous act of cheating isn’t any fresh treachery on Tracy’s part. Jim … is pushed over the edge by Tracy’s pure and spontaneous expression of joy. … The sight of her jumping up and down in the hall — having fought hard and won fairly, the way you’re supposed to — is too much for Jim to bear."

Now I just want to cry.

If you can, read this re-analysis of "Election" by AO Scott. It's devastating and spot-on as fuck: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/01/movies/tracy-flick-reese-witherspoon.html

This is how we sleep now, I guess.

It's Warren's world. I'm just living in it. Truly. #qualitätskatzen

I downloaded the electric scooter apps because someday I'm going to be desperate.

Let's declare independence and make this the portrait on one of our banknotes, okay? Okay!